Have you ever wondered…has anyone ever asked you…what do you want? It seems like a simple question. And you might be surprised to know. More people seek therapy not knowing what they want and not knowing what they want to change because they’ve never asked themselves or been asked by anyone else.
So. What do you want?
Consider this: You were born into existing systems that were made up of people you did not choose and experiences over which you had very little control.
If you were fortunate enough to grow up in a trauma-free, kind, loving family, great! You would have learned that you are loved and safe. You would know that your thoughts and feelings, all of them, are important. You would know that you, have value. You would know that mistakes are learning opportunities and that the world is a safe enough place to learn and grow. You would know how to protect yourself by setting boundaries, saying no.
If you grew up in a different kind of family, you probably learned as best you could to survive the dynamics of multiple systems: family, friends, school, society, culture. Later, you learned how to survive work, career, adult relationships. The survival skills you developed served you until…well, until they didn’t anymore. That can later look like anxiety, depression, unsatisfying relationships, avoiding intimacy, too many arguments or reactivity, always feeling like you can’t get what you want, feeling like an outsider…the list is long and unique to you. How have your early experiences affected you?
You may have attempted to sort this out for yourself. There are many, many books, videos, podcasts, classes, people telling you how to fix what’s wrong, what you could or need to do. You may have learned coping skills and techniques from those sources. But now you might be thinking: I may need some help.
My approach to therapy is triple-focused. 1) Guiding you through the recovery process caused by past experiences that have resulted in maladaptive (not working for you) patterns of relating to yourself and others. 2) Guiding you to live in the present (not getting caught up in the past or future). And 3) Guiding you to imagine a brighter future using positive psychology (what’s right with you), mindfulness (learning to develop non-judgmental awareness, inner calm, self-compassion, and positive emotions), and problem solving. My goal is to do what I can to guide you to a place where you feel better and live a more satisfying life. But just like you cannot do that alone, I cannot do that alone. You will get the most out of therapy by being an active participant.
No one can guarantee that a particular type of therapy or a specific therapist is right for you. The only way to find out is to try it for yourself. Whether you have specific goals or an underlying feeling that something isn’t right, doing something about it takes courage. You may not know what you want, but chances are, you know what you don’t want.
ABOUT MY PRACTICE
I have moved my practice to ONLINE only for now. Online video sessions are powered by SimplePractice, a secure, private, and HIPAA-compliant platform that also gives you access to a client portal, appointment reminders, billing, and documentation. Simple to use, you don’t even have to set up an account.
The way I do therapy is called a client-centered (by, for, and about you), interactive (a two-way conversation), transparent (ask questions when you have them), and collaborative (we work together).
IMPORTANCE OF THE CLIENT-THERAPIST ALLIANCE
Your relationship with your therapist is important!
Underlying all of the work is trust that your therapist considers your well-being priority one. It’s really important that you feel held, heard, and respected. You should be able to talk to your therapist about anything without fear of rejection or criticism. That includes your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, your past, your present, sex, money, death, accomplishments, frustrations, addictions, losses, goals, wants, desires, fantasies, fears, anger, loneliness, your feelings, not what you’ve been taught you should or are allowed to feel or think, but what is and was honest and real for you. Your truth.
Why therapy now?
That’s a great question. You may have thought about starting therapy for a while. Or had an experience recently that made you realize something’s got to change. Why Therapy Now?
Wondering What to expect…?
When I’m not writing, reading, learning, cooking, meditating, visiting with the important people in my life, hiking, binge watching TV and movies, I am working…with people like you (and me and all of us) on personal growth, relationships, life transitions, and creating a [more] happy, meaningful life.
I have quite a bit (decades) of life experience in addition to my training and clinical training which I believe has resulted in a modest amount of wisdom and insight. Having said that. The process is about you developing your own wisdom. Are you ready to begin?