Do you know what you want? It seems like a simple question, doesn’t it, but do you? Many people seek therapy not knowing what they want and not knowing what they want to change because they’ve never had or made the opportunity to stop and think about it.
Consider this: We’re all born into existing systems that are made up of people we did not choose and experiences we had no control over. Good, bad, or indifferent, we learn from them.
If you were fortunate enough to grow up in a trauma-free, kind, loving family, great! If not, you probably learned as best you could to survive the dynamics of multiple systems: family, friends, school, society, culture. Later, you learned how to survive work, career, adult relationships. The survival skills you developed served you until…well, until they didn’t anymore. That looks like anxiety, depression, unsatisfying relationships, avoiding intimacy, too many arguments or reactivity, feeling like an outsider…the list is long but personal. How have your early experiences affected you?
You may have attempted to sort this out for yourself. There are many, many books, videos, podcasts, classes, people telling you what you need to do. And you may have learned coping skills and techniques along the way. But now you might be thinking: I may need some help.
My approach to therapy is triple-focused. 1) Guiding you through the recovery process caused by past experiences that have resulted in maladaptive (not working for you) patterns of relating to yourself and others. 2) Guiding you to be present (not getting caught up in the past or future). And 3) Guiding you to a brighter future using positive psychology (what’s right with you), mindfulness (learning to develop non-judgmental awareness, inner calm, self-compassion, and positive emotions), and problem solving. My goal is to do what I can to get you to a place where you feel better and live a more satisfying life. But just like you cannot do that alone, I cannot do that alone.
No one can guarantee that a particular type of therapy or a specific therapist is right for you. The only way to find out is to try it for yourself. Whether you have specific goals or an underlying feeling that something isn’t right, doing something about it takes courage. You may not know what you want, but chances are, you know what you don’t want.
ABOUT MY PRACTICE
I have moved my practice to ONLINE only for now. Online video sessions are powered by doxy.me, a secure, private, and HIPAA-compliant platform. Simple to use, you don’t even have to set up an account. doxy.me/lindaenglandmft is my waiting room. You can go to doxy.me/patients to learn more.
The way I do therapy is called a client-centered (by, for, and about you), interactive (a two-way conversation), transparent (ask questions when you have them), and collaborative (we work together).
IMPORTANCE OF THE CLIENT-THERAPIST ALLIANCE
Your relationship with your therapist is important!
Underlying all of the work is trust. So it’s really important that you feel held, heard, and respected. You should be able to talk to your therapist about anything without fear of rejection or criticism. That includes your relationship with yourself, your relationships with others, your past, your present, sex, money, death, accomplishments, frustrations, losses, goals, wants, desires, fantasies, fears, anger, loneliness, your feelings, not what you’ve been taught you should or are allowed to feel or think, but what is and was honest and real for you. Your truth.
Why therapy now?
That’s a great question. You may have thought about starting therapy for a while. Or had an experience recently that made you realize something’s got to change. Why Therapy Now?
Wondering What to expect…?
When I’m not writing, reading, learning, cooking, meditating, visiting with the important people in my life, hiking, binge watching TV and movies, I am working…with people like you (and me and all of us) on personal growth, relationships, life transitions, and creating a [more] happy, meaningful life.
I have quite a bit of life (decades) experience in addition to my training and clinical experience which I believe has resulted in a modest amount of wisdom and insight. I walk the walk and what do you know? I’ve learned that growth and change is not only possible, it feels really good.