What do you want?
Have you ever wondered…has anyone ever asked you? What do you want?
You might be surprised to know that many people come into therapy not knowing what they want, but it sounds something like: I’m not happy; I want to be happier. So I ask, “What does that mean? Can you be more specific?”
I know they’re not talking about what they want for their birthday or what they want for dinner. It’s more like: What do you want that will bring you happiness, peace, calm, purpose? What will make life more meaningful for you? Right?
Believe it or not, since 1991, when Martin Seligman, Ph.D. began asking about what’s right with us, major universities around the world have studied what makes people happy. That curiosity about happiness evolved into Positive Psychology.
The History of All of Us
Before we begin, I want you to know that you are not alone. We are in this together. You, me, everyone. We enter the world into overlapping imperfect systems that shape who we are. Family, school, friends, community, culture, politics, religion to name a few. Think of these systems as concentric circles. Self is center; family is next, friends next, you get the idea. Some experiences in systems have a positive effect; some less so. In the worst situations, past experiences cause post-traumatic stress, the inability to turn off the fight/flight/freeze/appease response to trauma.
My approach to therapy
My approach to therapy is based on trauma informed therapies which are comprised of looking at:
- The Past. Identifying and reprocessing maladaptive (not working for you) patterns of behavior and beliefs that have been created by the past. Survival
- The Present. Learning to live in the present (not getting caught up in the past or future). Mindfulness and meditation focus on this.
- The Future. Imagining a brighter future using positive psychology (remember the second paragraph?), strength-based (asking what’s right with you), mindfulness (non-judgmental awareness, inner calm, self-compassion, and positive emotions), and solution focused problem solving.
My goals are your goals
Therapy with me is:
- client-centered (by, for, and about you)
- interactive (a two-way conversation)
- transparent (ask questions about what we’re doing; disagree with anything I say or do)
- collaborative (we are a team, we work together).
What’s good for you
Whether you have specific goals, an underlying feeling that something isn’t right, or a desire for more happiness, doing something about it takes courage. You may not know what you want, but chances are, you know what you don’t want.
ABOUT MY PRACTICE
I have moved my practice to ONLINE only for now. Online video sessions are powered by SimplePractice, a secure, private, and HIPAA-compliant platform that also gives you access to a client portal, appointment reminders, billing, and documentation. Simple to use, you don’t even have to set up an account.
When I’m not writing, reading, learning, cooking, meditating, visiting with the important people in my life, walking in my neighborhood, binge watching TV and movies, I am working…with people like you (and me and all of us) on personal growth, relationships, life transitions, and creating a [more] happy, meaningful life.
I have quite a bit (decades) of life experience in addition to my clinical training which I believe has resulted in a modest amount of wisdom and insight. Having said that, the process is about YOU developing your own wisdom. Are you ready to begin?